Why So Quiet?

2014-02-04 08.34.57-1

Enough time has passed since I last put anything here that I have no memory of what I wrote about. And truthfully, I can’t really recall what I wrote about when I was posting here all the time. I know why I stopped, why there was–I guess it could be called this now–a hiatus, and that had to do with chasing some wild hares, a disillusion with writing about myself all the time, and a lack of anything to say that I hadn’t already said. I worked on and published three stories this summer, all of which came out within a week of each other.

The reporting on two of those stories was done over an intense, short period of time, that involved plenty of misadventures in Bend, Oregon(two of which are here, here). I also needed to do some woodsheding, because, well, I want to be much better writer than I currently am; something that isn’t going to really happen here, where I am both the writer and the final editor. There needs to be a form of separation there in order for me to do my best work. I’ve learned enough to be able to admit that without feeling bad about it.

Okay, it’s more than white lie to say that I can’t remember what I used to write about here. Of course I remember, so much of it was personal, and built (being honest now) around the the amount of emotional self-mutilation I was engaged in; a process that has mostly stopped because I came to realize that it was ultimately a masturbatory practice that allowed me to continue with the miserable place I was at instead of getting on with the goal of bettering myself. Something that has taken a lot of work, and needed to happen without me writing about it, at least not in any direct way.

I had considered shuttering this whole enterprise, but I’ve decided that there is still a use for this page, but I’m leaving what that means open to interpretation. I hope to put up some out takes–now that I’m putting pieces in places other than here–that got cut because of space, or because they didn’t fit the tone of the piece. In one case I’d like to go deeper on some interviews, that space and commercial readability wouldn’t allow for. I’m going to try and be here at least once a week either way. If not, there’s sure to be something on my tumblr: 1x The Speed of Wheels

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