Loss of Faith

Today wasn’t supposed to be like this.  I was supposed to have one more day of sun a car and a trip up to Hood.  Instead I sat at the base of one of my favorite routes with running shoes on drinking coffee, instead of climbing.  Somedays I’ve run laps on this route, as well as the others, for hours of ropeless fun.  Today I couldn’t even manage one lap.  Yesterday I was ready to cast off without a partner.  Today I wanted a full rack, a fat rope and someone I trust holding the other end.  What happened?

Some where between the car and the top of the hill I lost faith in my abilities.  Could have been the wet patches, or the chocolate chip banana bread.  But does it really matter?  I realized on the drive out to the crag that I haven’t taken more than five days off in almost two years.

Lately I’ve been frustrated by the fact that I’m kissing 170 lbs again and despite the climbing, the weights, and the long boringly slow runs I’m not getting any fitter.  I don’t feel fitter, I’m not loosing any of this extra weight and my heart rate isn’t getting any lower.   I’m over worked and suffering from some serious burn out.  I need to take some time off.

For the last two years I’ve bounced between one training cycle to the next, sometimes getting side tracked and starting over.  Mostly due to a small obsession with trying to build backpacks.  Thank god Graham showed me the light.

So tonight, in an attempt to stop my brain from melting out of my ears, I came up with a plan.  I’m going to take two weeks off (!!!!) starting Thursday.  Fact is I’ve been missing skipping workouts lately and that’s just not me.  Which means I’m burned out.

I’ll take a full week off then start peppering in some runs before hitting it whole hog again.  This time I’m going to step up the volume and intensity gradually.  Unlike when I tried to recover from all that sewing stuff.

To fill my time during my self impossed exile I’m going to do things like:

  1. Eat a zone diet
  2. Cook AND wash the dishes
  3. Hang out with the incredible Julers
  4. Write and read some books.

This means I’ll actually bust out some of those stories I’ve been working on.  But right now I’m going to finish my beer and go to bed so I can make it to my last scheduled work out tomorrow.


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